My Opinion: Jón Gnarr - To Be Yourself

For the last few weeks I have been working hard at finishing the third, and last, volume of my trilogy of youth memoirs. The first book was Indjáninn (The Indian), the second was Sjóræninginn (The Pirate). The book I’m writing now is called Útlaginn (The Outlaw). This project has completely occupied my mind. I cannot think about anything else. I put everything else aside in order to write and this book has become like an addiction. I started casually, as if just fooling around. Gradually it became more time-consuming. By now it takes up about 85% of my brain activity. I have become a slave of this book. I am sorry, but that’s how it is. I am not in charge. There is no “I” who is writing, the book is just using me to write itself. I am not writing for my own pleasure, but to lessen the agony that accumulates within me when I am not writing, a bit like an alcoholic who drinks, not for pleasure but to numb his pain.

When I was a kid my role models were writers. I admired men like Þórbergur Þórðarson and Halldór Laxness, and wanted to be like them when I grew up. I felt a closer connection with Þórbergur because he wrote about himself and his own adventures and not much fiction. I could not write, but talking was easy for me. My handwriting was ugly. My spelling was bad, and I didn’t know which way the letters should turn. I couldn’t even remember which way my own letter, J, should turn, so I just wrote it alternately the right and the wrong way around. I was ashamed of what I wrote and threw it away. It was clear that I was not destined to become a writer.

I Wrote In the Clouds

Stand-up saved me. On the stage, this did not get in my way. When I spoke I was free from all those complicated spelling and grammar rules. I could speak this good and entertaining Icelandic that I was unable to write. I wrote in the clouds. I was funny, I knew that. I loved rattling away on stage. I was in my element. And others enjoyed it. I could master this form. The comedy was effortless, it was part of myself like an innate talent.

Comedy led me into acting. It happened accidentally. I thought of many funny things. The best way to carry them out was to do them myself. It was also cheaper. I acted in TV shows, movies and commercials. I acted on stage. I supported myself by acting. But I wasn’t a real actor. I had never studied acting and I was a bit of an outsider among actors. But by acting I gradually gained qualification and acceptance. Eventually I was accepted into the Icelandic Actors’ Association and am now recognized as such. One of the main reasons I got a work permit in the United States was the number of Edda Awards that I have received in my career. I am recognized by the American Actor’s Association. And yet I am not a real actor, more like an intruder who refused to leave.

Yet Another Role

From acting I went into politics. I had an idea and carried it out. Besti flokkurinn (the Best Party) had no formation expenses, did not receive any donations, and was based on voluntary work. Once again I was trying to do something for the enjoyment of myself and others. The idea grew and before I knew it, I was the Mayor of Reykjavik and had brought a lot of people with me. Suddenly I was one of the most influential politicians in Iceland. I have never seen myself as a politician. I don’t feel like a politician. I was just an intruder. I could have continued in politics and had a successful career, but I didn’t feel like it.

And now I have yet another role. I am a writer, which is what I wished to become 40 years ago. Now I travel the world promoting and signing books that I have suddenly written. But I don’t feel like a real writer. They are different from me. I am no more a writer than I was an actor or a politician. Maybe it is the same with this as with so many other things, as soon as something does not exist, it becomes real, like the eternity, which is not endless time but a condition without time. And darkness appears where there is no light. I really look forward to coming back to Iceland, to the light and warmth of my people who speak the same language I do. Perhaps it does not matter whether I am an actor, a statesman or a writer if I am still myself. And if you are clear about that, then you can be anything. I wish everyone a happy summer.